OPINION: Fashion trends that aren’t fashionable

Last summer, I did an internship for a nonprofit fashion magazine that worked to incorporate small businesses in Indianapolis. I am not a particularly trendy person. However, due to this short use, I have too much faith in thinking that I know what is fashionable.

There are a lot of current trends, mostly micro-trends – fast fashion clothing with a short shelf life – that I don’t like.

Those soft bag things, like those of Tiktok / Depop

I hate these bags so much. They feel weird on my hands. It’s similar to the feeling of dry, winter-worn skin rubbing on a static blanket. The inside of them is always scratchy and they look and feel like they are falling apart.

These are a great fast fashion piece and fit the part: cheaply made and hastily designed.

Jelly shoes

I really like wearing practical shoes – I’m a big white Reebok girl. Jelly shoes are impractical. Unfortunately, they are a little cute but they give me blisters. My feet sweat so much when I wear them: a slip and slide moment that I don’t like. The shoes may be cute but they are also a little too Polly Pocket style for my taste, so I personally wouldn’t wear them, but they can be paired well.

My main hate against jelly shoes is their 2022 version. They are a watered down version of the 90s glassy classic and I don’t like big brands reusing this style. It sounds ingenious, especially when a luxury brand like Gucci starts throwing tacky shoes.

Tights as a top

Listen, I love to shrink, reuse, and recycle just as much as the next girl. However, cutting out sheer black tights and tying them into a top isn’t exactly my definition of fashion forward. In all honesty, it’s bold. It is innovative. Unlike a lot of the trends I’m talking about, it’s not fast fashion that’s a good start and I think it’s interesting.

For me, my biggest problems are the transparency of the tights, which I think can lend itself to a small slip, and the practicality of the garment. You probably won’t be wearing pantyhose as a top anywhere besides bars – which is fine – but the pantyhose could easily tear from the dance or sweat from the vibe.

Swirly patterned jeans

I have a specific revenge against this style of pants. My main problem with these pants is that they just don’t work in any context. They’re a little flashy for class, but they’re not nice enough for dinner. They are not elastic, so the pattern does not fit your body. It sits stiff and stiff against your leg. Likewise, jeans are objectively not comfortable, especially feminine cut jeans. With these motifs, it makes the pants even stiffer than they already are.

Plus, these jeans are a micro-trend moment. I hate a micro-trend: I could write a whole thing about them specifically. Micro trends are harmful to the environment due to the rotation time for the wearer. Fast fashion brands traditionally churn out micro-trends, such as knitted vests, tennis skirts and that “cowgirl” t-shirt. Swirly patterned jeans are just another micro-trend destined for the dumpster.

Transition lenses

Last but certainly not least are the horror that inspired this column: transition lenses – the eyeglasses that take on the color of sunglasses when you go out. To put it plainly, they are ugly. I think they are harmful to the environment. This is in fact incorrect. You could show me stats that show they’re really good for the environment, and I literally wouldn’t care.

Also, who willingly wears a transitional lens in addition to a child? Will you really go inside after being outside and have to wait for your glasses to come back? It’s stupid, in my opinion.

Please take my personal preferences with a grain of salt. If you have a fluffy Depop bag and you are cool, it’s all right, I really don’t care. I don’t actually judge people for wearing these items, but rather hate items as separate entities. Likewise, I wore camouflage pants last week, so I’m just as bad.

Curren Gauss (she / she) is a minor student in English with a minor in dramaturgy. He hopes to have a job someday.

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