Billie Lourd he’s honoring his dead mother, Carrie Fisher, five years after his death.
In an Instagram post shared on “the 27th here down unda” —Billie celebrated Christmas in Australia with her boyfriend Austen Rydell and their 15-month-old son Kingston Fisher Lourd Rydell– the actress opened up about her grief as she celebrated the fifth anniversary of the Star Wars the icon is passing.
Alongside a photo of herself and Fisher posing with a koala, the 29-year-old actress wrote, “People always ask me what stage of pain I’m in. And my answer is never simple.”
“My pain is a multi-course meal with a lot of complicated ingredients,” the American Horror Story: Double Feature star continued. “A bargaining starter followed by a rage starter with a side of depression, acceptance for the starter and, of course, a little rejection for the dessert.”
Noting that “this is how pain should be”, Billie said she feels “all things all at once” and “there is no ‘should’ in pain – pain is just what it is for you and it is. which ‘should be’ “.