40 of the dullest tools from 2021’s shed

11. Ron De Santis

Ron De Santis

Illustration: Getty Images

Ron DeSantis is an asshole. The most disgusting of the assholes. Ron DeSantis is the kind of lousy asshole a person who doesn’t appreciate your hospitality would leave in your bathroom, don’t rinse, don’t spray, leave the door open, and refuse to wash their hands afterwards. He’s as crappy an asshole as the one floating in the toilet of the American leadership.

His new Stop WOKE act is: a legislative proposal that will give businesses, employees, children and families the tools to combat awakened indoctrination. This is a literal phrase on a Florida state government official’s website. His number 1 goal at this point appears to be, outside of being re-elected, to eliminate all stops in his quest to make the state less welcoming to racial minorities, women and members of the LGBTQ community.

DeSantis even found a way to sneak his stench into sports. He signed a bill over the summer to promote “intellectual diversity” in university education. Students and faculty will be interviewed to make sure there is a “diversity” of opinion on Florida campuses and if a student feels that a professor does not allow them to freely express their opinion, they can record the lesson without penalty. DeSantis also passed a law that obliges athletes in public secondary and post-secondary education to compete with members of their sex, not their gender identity. For him, in the midst of a pandemic, epidemic of gun violence, inflation and rising rates of hate crime, making sure that ignorant and abusive views can be shouted or taught in a college classroom without judgment or reprimand, and an athlete in school is not allowed to participate in track and field in a way that makes them more comfortable.

So when you’re in Florida and every once in a while that foul swamp smell hits you in the nose, it’s not just the swap you’re sniffing at. He’s an asshole in Tallahassee pouring his stench into every inch of the state he rules.


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